Thick tradesmen
Right, picture this - it’s ten days before xmas. You’re a plumber, finishing off some work that you should have done back in September but couldn’t be arsed to do. You’ve got to build a box around a few pipes and fill a hole in the ceiling inside a tall built-in cupboard.
On the top shelf of said cupboard, right at the back is a large bag full of toys, hidden under a towel. You need to move the bag to get at the hole. So, where do you put it?
Uh-huh - in the bedroom belonging to the 7 and 5 year old. And then you leave it there. So the following morning, Mom comes in to find the 5yo has been in the bag and retrieved a game called Fit the Bit and is all excited and wants to play it now.
I’m going to kill those stupid bloody plumbers when they arrive. I’m going to flay them with the first bit of copper pipe they’ve left lying around that comes to hand and then I’m going to stuff their heads down the toilet and flush it repeatedly. Then I may even use a few discarded shards of broken tile that can be found in odd corners and pin them to the uneven tiling on the bathroom walls with them.
And then, I’m going to give them another bollocking about the state of the boxing in around the back of the bidet. It’s absolutely atrocious. I could do a better job in my current state! If I wasn’t pg, I would have taken over the tiling of the bathroom after he’d laid the first course of tiles. They suck - all uneven and wonky.
Poor sods don’t know what’s going to hit them when they turn up. If they turn up.
edited to add that Gramps seems to be stable atm - he’s even had some breakfast and a shave this morning. 
